General Chat

:-D :-D Blessed was the day

he asked where Allan wanted to go.

'To the nearest Travel Agent, but first to an equipment hire company'

Brian luckily knew just the place to go, so they quickly arrived at an equipment hiring company, but all the cranes were out on redevelopment sites and all the hire company could offer was a dumper truck.

Not quite what Allan had hoped for, but on the bright side it might be easier to manoeuvre than a crane.

"How big is this pork pie?" asked OH

"Who said I need it for the pie, I might want to lift something even heavier" said Allan as he thought he glared at Brian......unfortunately he's a bit cross-eyed and he was really glaring at OH.....who wasn't too happy and....

I must really get out of this M25 enclosure otherwise I'll be stuck here forever. I'm at Leatherhead, thought Allan. So I might as well take the OH and her shadow the Blessed Brian and show them what life was like on the Ash Vale ranges- seeing as I had thought about them a few pages ago.

Then, with any luck, I can carry on northwards to Melton Mowbray for my pie.

A dumper truck was not the best of transport to use in leafy Surrey.

A high class vehicle would have been more fitting, but ever keen to explore the land that they'd left so many years ago, Allan and OH set off, carrying with them in their scoop the large Brian, protesting loudly.

The Ash Vale ranges were floating in and out of Allans mind....now what was it about them he couldn't shift??....if only Brian would shut up for a minute....what's he yelling...low bridge??....nope....now the ranges......

where Allan spent many happy hours blasting away with a trusty Sterling SMG then a quick march back to Keogh Barracks for what passed for lunch.

Still, that was in the past and he now had the future to consider.

Pausing only to lower the bucket and eject Brian who was using language anything but blessed, Allan drove off in search of a travel agents and a salmonella sandwich

Then it dawned on Allan he didn't need a Travel agent he could navigate by the stars hadn't he been taught that in the boy scouts or was it OH in the Girl guides anyway it can't be that hard can it?? So Melton Mowbray is where now....pretty much North of here easy peasy......and there's a Premier Inn sorted.....

Refreshed by an over-night stay at the Premier Inn and having eaten his chosen 'full English', Allan and OH made their way to the car park, where they'd left the dumper truck.

What a cheek!
Someone had thought it was there to collect rubbish and unwanted items. It was almost full with black sacks, but balanced on the top of the pile were 2 scooters and an old tandem.

'I wonder,' thought Allan...........

if I sold these here bits and pieces and got rid of the dumper truck I might be able to get a better vehicle.

Any offers...….

"I'll give you a pound" said a voice from the shadows......
"Blimey Cliff hides everywhere" thought Allan "are times that hard he's into scrap metal now?"
"Oh Cliff my hero" said OH as she fainted
"Hang on this is meant to be my holiday too" said Allan "where's all my heroes?"

That's easy, thought his OH. That old police map she carried in her capacious bag showed their route to be through Reading. There was Oscar Wilde and Reading Gaol - Allan always did love poetry ;-)

OH continued to empty the contents of her bag. 'Crikey' said Allan 'you could rival Mary Poppins with that lot!'

'Nonsense' said OH, putting on her best Dame Edith Evans 'Its a Handbag!'

Neverthless, as OH was once a Girl Guide out it all came.

A piece of plain paper with a pencil.
A long piece of string
4d for the phone
Another map
A compass with a magnetic north
A torch for when it gets dark
A whistle in case it gets foggy
Sunglasses when it gets sunny
Snow goggles when it gets snowy
Fold up umbrella

'Crikey' said Allan again, he liked that word 'its a wonder you dont have the kitchen sink.................'

OH, swiftly pulled out the Butler............

dvd she hadn't got round to watching yet...

she carried on pulling things from the bag

a box of safety matches
cotton wool
magnifying glass
some sausages
tin of beans
dozen eggs
bread

"Great" said Allan "I was feeling a bit peckish get cooking woman"

no sooner had he finished saying that then he saw her get out a frying pan which for some reason she was now swinging.....near him.....

Allan ducked, and grinned widely.

Gamely he took the frying pan from the lovely OH, and handed it to the Butler, standing idly by.

'Good grief man, make yourself useful, and rustle us up some food, it is all of an hour since we had our full English, if we are to navigate this rugged terrain, we need something in our bellies'

Creighton duly obliged...……...

And rustled up a cow from the next field.

Creighton handed it over to Allan saying “rustled as ordered sir”

Hmm thought Allan that reminds me must visit Guernsey one day I hear it's quite lovely.....

But we've milked this long enough we need to churn up some new fodder for the story.......

So they waved goodbye to Creighton and the cow and set off once more heading north.

Allan now had a choice to make, relive his youth by going via Woodstock or stopping at Banbury to seee all those fine ladies and their horses.

or maybe they could visit both.

Allan was keen to try any regional foods, - to help with the local economy and because they were traditional.
He thought OH would also like Banbury cakes, so trusting his compass, they headed in that direction and soon reached the statue of the fine lady.

Allan was a bit confused at the apparel the fine lady was wearing. ;-)

Had he found the right lady or should he have been elsewhere?