General Chat

Hands off my unmentionables they're all mine but you can have a swig of moonshine if you want....

Allan knew he shouldn't but......

.. he pondered on the offer. He could end up Waltzing with Matilda when he should be Driving Home for Christmas.

It was nearing Christmas and perhaps it would seem rude not to accept a friendly invitation.
The Old Timer finished his chores then they settled down and sang a few songs, while they drank together. Allan wasn't always too sure of the words, but his throat was well-lubricated, so he sang heartily............

"You are the moonshine of my life"...................

After a few more songs Allan thought they were ready for a bit of Carol singing now which door to knock on first........

They were on the outskirts of Witchcliffe so they tried the door of the very first house in that small town that they had drunkenly arrived at.

The door slowly opened, as did Allan's eyes. For there, leaning in the entrance hall, was a broomstick which Allan immediately recognised as belonging to his OH.

Oh, what a serendipitous moment.

Pushing the startled householder aside, whilst still trying to recall the words of "Rudolf the red knows rain dear", he grabbed the broomstick and ran back into the street.

At the third attempt he managed to sit astride the broom and muttering the magical incantation of “How the bl**dy hell does this thing start” he was off down the street at a fair rate of knots

Now what was he up to...oh yes looking for a decent Pork pie....where could he find one at this hour??....

From the Pork Pie shop, obviously. You know - the one next to the Travel Agents.

Next to the place where all the men wear their trousers rolled up you mean??

Yes Allan was pleasantly surprised to see they had a promotion going on buy four mini pork pies and get the chance of winning a trip to Melton Mowbray. As luck would have it Allan bought his pies seconds before the contest closed......and lighting does strike twice...no one else had entered seems there was a lack of interest in Pork pies in this area. The tickets were handed over...oh heck....he had to take OH and have some promotional pictures taken over there AND be interviewed by something called This mornings Phil......

They were to leave immediately now where was OH?? Blimey she's getting her hair done how did she know???........what could go wrong.......

Okay we don't want to upset the great RRer so from now on no insensitive jokes about Allan and his OH mode of transport along Harry Potter style...no bare legs no young lady with a lovely bunch of coconuts......Oh heck who are we kidding carry on as normal everyone........

Should I be riding on a broomstick in my condition? :-0

You're fine doing any type of activity Allan as long as you're sensible.....might need support stockings soon though....

Will they help keep the broomstick in the air?

Wont really matter you'll be landing to pee all the time...

What happens if I pee soup? do I call the doctor?

Baby brain already I see......

Enough of this cross-fertilisation of threads :-| :-| :-D

Trying to confuse the RR Allan they won't know where to RR

I'm becoming a bit confused myself; I've forgotten who's said what and where :-S ;-)

Me too....

Anyway you're off to be interviewed on the Morning show with young Phil......

Allan caused a major alert as he neared UK. It wasn't often that friendly broomsticks, -double seated or otherwise, encroached on British air space, but luckily one of the air traffic controllers recognised him and ( being a fellow rolled trouser leg man) could vouch for him, so the broomstick was allowed to land.
The travellers looked somewhat wind swept. All that journeying had done nothing to improve OH's recent hairdo.

Wanting to make a good impression at the morning interview, the intrepid pair went in search of an hotel to freshen up and somewhere to shop for some smart clothes to wear.