General Chat

an enriching experience in itself

Oh well said Allan at least he won't talk non stop about brexit....

So where's this treasure then me hearty?

Black Beard threw a map at him.

Allan slowly unrolled it and found a map of...

His home in Australia, Allan couldn't believe it ,he'd only been sitting on top a treasure trove for years, I need to get back.......

and dig up OH prized Roses I'm sure she won't mind....will she??

Now how to tell OH that this dream cruise is coming to an abrupt end and we're going home.....

Then Allan had a light bulb moment.........

to reality, and stop eating these mushrooms, he thought.

The only person he knew who had been sitting on a fortune all her life was Maggie May (no relation), but that's another story.

This holiday was turning into a cruise to Fantasy Island, and the ship hadn't even called in at Adelaide yet

Suddenly a little man in a white suit started yelling" ze the plane" non stop and Allen knew it was time to seek help.

After knocking his head...AGAIN....to try and clear it Allan decided onwards to Adelaide.....what could possibly go wrong.....

Allan decided to go outside and get some air and to clear his head.

On the deck he encountered the passenger to whom he had previously spoken.

This time the passenger was throwing rocks at the circling seagulls. Dreading the answer, Allan gamely asked him what he was doing.

Back came the reply, “I’m leaving no tern unstoned”

At this point, Allan fainted

When he recovered he wondered just why he'd spent sooooooo much money on a cruise when he could have stayed at home and listen to OH cracking lame jokes :-D

Then he remembered he'd used OH secret nest egg he'd found last Spring clean....

Suddenly the ship shuddered to a halt and the tannoy said "shcehhhed all yewoloo now".....lucky enough Allan was used to public announcements and knew it meant Adelaide all off now.....

Allan went looking for OH......

Who was no where to be found, then Allan spied a note on the bunk bed telling him his OH had gone to spend some of her savings in the gift shop
Oh no thought Allan breaking out in a cold sweat.......

not more tacky sunglasses...they don't suit me at all.

Allan ran down the gangplank knocking over a few seniors as he did so....."sorry so sorry excuse me"

Suddenly Allan as ever led by his stomach smelled Poh...and saw Jamface...."oh I've always wanted to go there" he thought and off he trots....

Meanwhile, Allan's OH had just found out that her secret nest egg savings had been snaffled when the credit card was not accepted in the gift shop.

Her mood darkened and her thoughts turned to violence. This actually made a nice change to her usual thoughts of how she could navigate her way back o their cabin via the most direct toilet route.

She wondered if she might combine the two activities....violence to Allan and bathroom breaks.....surely not.......but then..

the siren song of the porcelain maid called to her and off she rushed to answer the call.

For the moment, Allan was safe, although at the moment he was also blithely unaware that his OH had now discovered how the voyaged had been financed and that his days were possibly numbered

Meanwhile unknown to Allan OH was looking through her pictures....she knew it was a good idea bringing her laptop with her...now where are those pictures of Allan when he was.........

clog-dancing at junior school long before the 'Twist' was created & modern slavery was abolished.

He had a notion in his pre-teens youth that he would become a Polymath Priest to inspire generations to follow

wow she thought my Allan has had some interesting times in his past......but no those pictures aren't right for now, what else do we have here.....

Oh these are perfect of when Allan won the knobbly knees contest, I've a feeling he'll be needing his knees again very soon!......

That would be the year he didn't win at the Gurning contest, he was so upset but then he won the knees instead....at least you can hide knees but faces...well....

OH went off to look for somewhere to place the knobbly knees photos...now where would be best....

As it happens, the Captain's table had already been set out for the evening meal, so OH placed the photos as a display centre piece and crept away.

Allan meanwhile had been enjoying the sights of Adelaide and had found an amazing wildlife area.

It suddenly dawned on Allan just how many deadly animals and insects there are in Australia, he wondered if OH knew about them all.....was that why she kept insisting on him having a pet, not a dog or cat but something exotic like.....