General Chat

Oh Barbra....Google it :-D :-D

Night xx :-D :-D

:-D might be wise not to google it just before bed you'll be dreaming about Allan all night :-D :-D

Cooking a meal for OH would delay the start of the proposed trip, but might mean expectations for continued repeat performances on their return, so what to do?

Allan decided to move the passports to inside the large suitcase, because of course even OH would not think of taking that in a kayak would she?

At an opportune moment he decided to "Empty the biscuit crumbs outside for the birds" thereby giving him an excuse to gain access to the documents.

Once outside..............

Allan continues to read 'Compact', the magazine rewriting German history.

On how to dupe the Mrs , which he'd found in a recycling bin.
Now dinner, looking in the freezer he found two TV dinners and wondered if he could pass them on as home cooking?

Of course he could.....all he needed was some fresh green thing or a twig; as my husband calls all herbs etc; now what to use...dandelions.....don't the Italians use them in salads.....that'll do......unfortunately Allan used the whole plant not just the leaves....and the freezer burn on the meals was a give away....that and the fact he left them in the tray.......

"what are you up to Allan?" OH demanded

"Well precious..........

I tried really hard,I really did but those long johns won't fit anymore,so maybe we'll have to go the Bahamas where it's a little warmer said Allan trying to look a bit glum and dejected....

Trying but not succeeding I think Pina Coladas and Mankinis were in his mind again....

OH having been married for a few years knew when he was up to no good......pretty much any time he was awake to be honest....

"Okay sweetie" she declared "How about we go somewhere hotter than the South Pole......how about trekking across the Sahara desert?"

Hmm. Thought Alan. I wonder how many camels I could get for.....

An unworn Mankini.Straw Hat .a pair of flip flops hardly worn ;-) :-D

A trip to Mars by Ryanair is an alternative idea.

Allan was over the moon about a trip to Mars and immediately sent OH's name to NASA so that she could be on the first manned, sorry, personned, mission to that far distant planet.

However, for the moment he had to concentrate on the immediacy of the forthcoming trip.

His view of a trip to the South Pole and his OH's thoughts of a trip to the North Pole were poles apart so they decided that it would be the Australian cruise.

Australian cruises though are so last month though thought Allan......Mars is not good as being colour blind how would I really know if it was really a red planet??...the Sahara trip was surprising that he could only get 20 camels for his OH and what could he do with them anyway....
Hey how about a cruise up the Norweigan fjords maybe I could get one of those blue parrots I used to always hear about......

Hmm, thought Allan, parrots from Norway?

Actually, the only parrots Allan had ever heard about were those from Cornwall, the parrots of Penzance, but a trip to the UK was out of the question as he still owed the UK taxman a bit of money.

So back to the drawing board or even possibly the travel agents to obtain some expert advice

A bit of money would be an understatement thought the undercover tax inspector as he dunked his digestive into his mug of tea....we've been watching him for months with these hidden cameras he'll try and spend the money soon and we'll catch him......now what's he doing another internet search.....

Allan typed in exotic holidays that don't cost a fortune but the OH thinks they do....mankinis allowed.....he was surprised there was only one hit and it was......

Cleethorpes in the uk, mmmm I wonder if I should chance it, thought Allan.
Could go in disguise......

But in the end he decided not to.

After all, he had lived in Cleethorpes for five years before immediately prior to him being transported, sorry, emigrating to Australia.

Both of his children had been born at the Croft-Baker Maternity home which meant that their place of birth was shown as Grimsby, not the elite Prestbury in Cheshire as was on his own birth certificate.

This alone was a very good reason not to return to the UK and face the prospect of doing time.

The irony of Allan being the only person ever transported to Australia before he had committed a crime was not lost on him

Irony or not the call of the Mankini on a bracing beach in Cleethorpes won Allan voer but how to convince the OH.......

"Oh sweetie" Allan called his beloved OH......"Guess where we're going..."

“Sydney!” his wife replied, “While you’ve been daydreaming over the last few days, I’ve been to the travel agents and booked the trip; and don’t even think about going back to Cleethorpes, not after that unsavoury incident involving your little bit of Cleethorpes rock”

Allan was mortified. He’d hoped that his OH had forgotten about that little peccadillo.

His OH had the memory of an elephant, as well as other similarities.

So, Sydney it was to be then