Find Living Relatives

Looking for my blood brother who was adopted at 6 months age.
Brian Robert Dunn born 9.12.1961.inWoolwich,Plumstead,London.
Authorisation was given 6.6.62.
Sadly my mother passed away at the age 54.
My parents stayed together and had 2 more children.My mother never forgave herself for the adoption of my brother and watched her own mother commit suicide through guilt.
I have held this information from the age of 15.can not describe the painAs much as I have tried I have failed.
My family life has been affected as I find it hard to explain the pain and feel that as a man I should just get on with my life,but I cant as the pain just gets stronger.please help.Neil Dunn.[Webster]

Hi Neil - welcome to the boards :-)

Stop beating yourself up - just because you're a man makes you no less sensitive than a woman - I do feel for you <3

Let's hope someone can come up with something for you

Ann x

Name: Brian R Dunn
Event Type: Birth Registration
Registration Quarter: Oct-Nov-Dec
Registration Year: 1961
Registration District: Woolwich
County: London
Event Place: Woolwich, London, England
Mother's Maiden Name (not available before 1911 Q3): Dunn
Volume: 5D
Page: 1206
Line Number: 88

two possible marriages sent by message

this posting will eventually move further and further down so every so often, put a couple of smiley faces in the reply box to keep it on the front page until someone comes up with something for you - advice or information :-)

Neil,

Have you put your name on the adoption contact register?

https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records/the-adoption-contact-register

Have you put him, and his parents, in your tree on here?
And have you looked to see if they are in any other trees on here?


Ann,
If Brian has been adopted and his name changed, how have you managed to find 2 possible marriages for him?

the way brian was adopted was made illegal in about 1985.laws were passed that only the parent can go to court and find detail.since my mum passed away and my father was not on the birth this leaves me stranded.i have registered on all before but got fed up with people just wanting money for a service that I feel should be free.i have two possible mariages that were given by someone else.If there is adopted people out there hidden from a corrupt ancient law then surely it would be possible that siblings and family could be incestuous without knowledge.
I have all all original adoption paperwork in my possession should anyone be able to help me.Neil.

has his name been changed?

Well, he was adopted, so pretty obviously, yes.

pretty obviously there were children adopted without control.

Neil, no one here is to blame for anything in your situation, so taking the problem out on people here that way really isn't called for.


Neil ... did you check the link patchem gave you?

https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records/the-adoption-contact-register

this is a voluntary matching service ... any family member of an adopted person can register, and if the adopted person themself also registers, they will be matched

the adopted person may not be interested in their birth family and may not want any contact, and in that case if they do not register there is nothing you can do

but if you have not registered there, Brian could not contact you even if he wanted


I am not persuaded that putting full birthdates here, even of adopted persons, is wise or acceptable ... it is still identifying information that they may not wish to have published this way


you raise an interesting point about the possibility of relationships being incestuous if one party does not know they were adopted or does not know their birth parents' names ... ditto for 'test tube babies' ... and in fact for anyone who does not know the identity of their father, whatever the circumstances of their birth, adopted or not

but there simply is no way to track down adults and force information on them about their circumstances

is the Neil who has Brian Dunn 1961 Plumstead in his tree you? perhaps under an old account ... very important either to keep your email address in that account up to date, or start a new tree under this current account ... and keep the email address up to date there as well ... this thread could be found by someone doing an internet search in future and they would need a way to contact you

also click 'Watch This' up at the top and then you should get notifications if someone posts a message here

have you contacted all the people here who have the name Brian Dunn born 1961 in their trees? many of them show no place of birth ... there were 7 or perhaps 8 Brian Dunns born in England in 1961 so odds are that they are the others, but there is no harm in asking

yes that is me.with Brian on the tree.was not taking out my frustration on the only people that can help was just answering a post in the same manor delivered.

Neil, you need to follow the thread.

The person who sent you the marriages had disregarded the fact that the Brian you are looking for was adopted.

This was pointed out to her: that if he was adopted, his name was changed (so it is pointless to send marriages in Brian's birth name).

She replied: 'has his name been changed?'

And the reply **to her** was 'Well, he was adopted, so pretty obviously, yes.'

No one said anything untoward **to you**.

Make sure not to have a chip on your shoulder when reading people's contributions. :-D

I have not seen the word 'thanks' in this thread yet.

Thankyou.Sorry from my Heart.
I am a bricklayer and still don't understand the way this works.X

You can also add a postem to the free bmd entry, giving some form of (neutral) contact information, so that if he or his family ever check that out they will be able to find you.

thanks will do but am calling a night.my head hurts.X

Neil I don't have anything to add to the suggestions of Patchem and Joonie, but just to say don't give up hope on finding your brother, or him finding you. People start searching for birth family often quite late on in life perhaps when their adoptive parents have died and they feel able to do so without upsetting the people who raised them, or just because they feel having brought up their own family it is now time they knew about their own roots.


best of luck.

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

I would like to share my gratitude to all the caring people that have posted support.
For some time I have thought that I was beaten but not now.Thanks. :-)

Neil, a couple of thoughts, from time to time as well as checking trees here it may be worth you googling your own name and that of your parents, if your brother posts a search anywhere else it would then come up

Also (a long shot I know), there is always the chance he was adopted in the Plumstead area? so might have attended a local school. it is always worth looking at Friendsreunited or Facebook for school pages, it's just possible he may show up in a photo, as you have the same parents he may look like you did at the same age.