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Do you think a baby that has died before birth sho

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Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 3 Jul 2008 01:17

I just had a closer look at the SANDS site. They do a little booklet called a Memory booklet, which is for health visitors etc to give to bereaved parents so they feel they have something to recognise their baby's existence, for however short a time. Maybe we should tell all Maternity units about this and hope they would use them or produce something suitable for use if parents want a certificate.
There are some lovely things you can buy very cheaply, I liked the little brooch/pin and may well get one myself, to commemorae my Zoe, altho of couse, after more than 34 years she will never be out of my heart and mind.


Patricia Report 3 Jul 2008 12:02

My condolences on your loss. I feel for you - and I too have experienced the pain of miscarriage. I lost 6 pregnancies - all before 14 weeks. As a nurse, I am fully aware of what a foetus looks like at that stage of pregnancy, and it would be a rare occasion that medical staff would be able to do things like take foot prints. My first, I named, but the others, I chose not to. What I did do, was to plant a tree for each of my babies who did not survive. My feeling is that there is no need for a public declaration - or indeed proof that there was a baby, but, of course everyone is different. I did however, manage to have 2 beautiful children, and when my eldest was 3 and I had lost yet another baby - I brought a book showing the development of babies - it showed the actual size. I could explain to my son that because the baby was born when it was WAY too small, that it could not live no matter how much we wanted it to live. We talked about this child, he gave it a "nick"name and we planted the tree. My son is now 24, and still talks of the baby on occasions, as he also talks of his twin who did not survive. Yes, it is sad, but I can assure you, the pain does ease with time, and I am sure that you will find a way of commemorating your precious child that is relevant and meaningful to you and your family. The greatest memories of those we love are very often carried in our hearts.
These threads are for sharing of thoughts and ideas - even if we do not necessarily agree with others thoughts or comments. I feel that, even if their comments are hurtful, it is better to simply acknowledge that, but not to put them down for their beliefs.


DIPPY D Report 3 Jul 2008 23:11

hi sarah

i had a miscarriage at 22 weeks we could not have a funeral becouse they said becouse she was born before 24 week... they gave us two blurred photo,s no councelling or anything . we were told a priest from the hospital would let us know were she was buried they said she would be in the hospital grounds but he would get in touch and show us were exactly she was.... we never heard a thing it wasnt untill i went to a funeral director to see about having a stone slab with her name on put in my brothers grave which we will be forever gratefull to my parents for letting us do it ... we found out she wasnt in the hopital grounds at all but in a cemetry were we could have been laying flowers for all those years we thort she was in a different place and she wasnt... we did have the stone slab done and she is with him we know this for sure but i,m not going to go into that.

she would have been 21 last week that was hard becouse 21 is one of the big birthdays we celebrate and all we could do was lay flowers but like we said she will never be forgotten and our two children know were her name is and they can go and visit there grave any time they want.... i know she,s not buried there but it doent matter were she,s buried she,s with family who love her and will look after her till its our turn to be with her...

gob bless to you and all who has lost a little one

becouse god decided he needed some more little angels up in heaven and he chose ours

gone but not forgotten xxxxxxxx


Thistledown Report 4 Jul 2008 20:59

Hi Sarah,
i too lost a baby at 34 weeks a little girl in 1976 i did not see her or touch her but my mother got her buried with her mother something that i am very very grateful for i do not have a death cert for her as the Irish gorv. did not allow you to register babies if they did not live for 48 hours but now i can get a birth cert for her. I always put her name on the censes form and put stillborn in brackets i know that i should not but she was a baby to me.
Hope that you are keeping well and remember that you have a little Angel looking over you.


Sarah Report 6 Jul 2008 12:29

sorry to hear of all your losses innisfree i am pleased you got a birth cert for your lost baby that must of gave you some peace of mind known that people of the future will know about her not that it ever becomes easy to come to terms with your lost becuse that never happens

legs of liverpool

legs of liverpool Report 6 Jul 2008 22:03

i lost twins 31 years ago at only 12 weeks never had any help i lost one at home and one a week later in hospital will never forget that time but i have six grown up children now life can be so hard but then it make up in three fold bernie