General Chat

I have had an anonymous donation from a lady who is undergoing cancer treatment and has lost her hair.

She has brought up a point that I had never considered, never having had the misfortune to have lost my hair through medical intervention.

The point is that it is not very brave to lose your hair knowing that it will grow back thick and strong and that she wished that MacMillan had not chosen that to highlight.

I do think that, for many of us, hair loss is the only sign we see of cancer and other even less pleasant aspects are never seen. There really are no other aspects that we can emulate to draw attention and show solidarity to raise much needed revenue or I am sure that many of us would. The limit is, I am sure , the capacity of the human imagination.

I am, of course, very, very grateful to this lady and wish her so much good. Thank you, thank you anonymous lady.

How do others feel about this.

There often isn't a way to show compassion/sympathy to many sufferers of these traumatic illnesses... shaving ones head might be the only way, for a not very fit person to show..how they feel

Raising funds by jumping out of aeroplanes, Walking the Great wall,or bungee jumps are for the adventurous,

Bob

No doubt she is feeling pretty grim if she is at a stage where she has no hair and is seeing things from an angle that I have never been to. You, Robert, are regarding the awful events with the mellowness of retrospection i think and quite thankfully so.All good wishes to your wife.

Somebody asked me if I really wanted to lose my hair.Well of course I don't but neither did the people with cancer.

Rambling Rose raised the point when I first posted that people might think I had cancer or, indeed, was mocking those who do but I hope I am turning a negative into a positive in some way.

My OH had to have neck and throat surgery for cancer a few years ago. The entire experience was -ve from the initial seriously delayed diagnosis to losing teeth (in order to allow extraction of part of tongue being replaced with an arm muscle) , use of ancient radio therapy equipment when modern ones avail (but not used 'cos of budget cuts) , abysmal post op care immediately after the op, cancellation of speech therapy (more cuts) , and so on. The loss of her head of luxuriant copper hair was the least of her problems. It has grown back but is much thinner.

She is not interested in any kind of compassion for her experiences and chooses just to "get on with it". If the GP & hospital had managed to get the diagnosis right the surgery could have been done properly in Paris as it was by the time they had sorted themselves out it was an emergency.

As to fund raising ... the modern radio therapy machines remain unused as the NHS still cannot find the money to retrain the radiographers.

good luck, every little helps I guess
<3

But there is not the fear and grimness of the treatment while it is happening.

"With respect, I think the lady was over reacting and should be pleased that 1) she is still with us 2) that she could help Cancer Charities by wearing her badge (her lack of hair)"

Sorry, Robert, but I think that's very insensitive. A cancer sufferer should go round advertising her illness by baring her head when she's devastated by the loss of her hair? And be grateful she's still with us? Tactless and probably very hurtful if she's reading this thread.

As it happens I agree with her. I think that Macmillan should know better.

I absolutely admire Sharon for what she's doing but I hate the whole "Brave the Shave" concept.

To choose to lose your hair is one thing, quite another when it's the side effect of very unpleasant treatment and you have no choice other than possible death.

It probably is a bad choice, I don't know, but there was little else to choose.

We who want to help need something we can all do and which is easily identified. As I explained before, there isn't much else we can do that is relevant.

Robert deleted his post which has made nonsense of my reply.

An apology or acknowledgement of his lack of tact might have been more appropriate than just deleting what he posted.

Hence I have deleted my original post as well.

Edit - I see he's deleted both of his posts. I quoted one of them in a previous reply.

Sharon, no criticism of you at all. I admire you for what you are doing.

Macmillan should know better.

I think I might pull this thread.

I've been asked to post this by Rose - who wants to emphasise she didn't say "mock". These were her words.

"Very personal choice. I would never say you should or shouldn't. I personally feel there are better ways maybe? Like the coffee morning or similar?

Inevitably people will 'look' and then inevitably they will comment and ask if YOU have cancer, then you're explaining the 'why' to strangers. That might not be what you want or feel comfortable with? "

No, I know she didn't say 'mock', it was my addition to make a point that she was thinking the shave might be misconstrued. I am sorry I misquoted her but I was including the concept of mocking in what I was saying. Sorry Rose.

I did carefully consider whether I would mind explaining to people before I embarked on this project, a luxury which cancer sufferers don't have.

What I didn't take into account was that a committee would be formed by a dear old lady who has grabbed the wrong end of several sticks and caused a lot of confusion. It has been very hard to protect her feelings and try to exploit my little sacrifice to make as much money as I possibly can.

If they do the Macmillan coffee morning every year they have probably got quite protective of their routine, Sharon. Don't let it get to you.

Evidently the coffee morning was going to be to support me but not if I insisted on doing bacon sandwiches.

I was invited to the first committee meeting where I was all but ignored.Out of deference I didn't push the fact that I was representing a completely different campaign which they had not even found on-line after I had explained the name to them several times. Made allowances for them being even less capable on these new fangled contraptions than am I.
Two of the committee have never had a bacon sandwich and when I explained that I had people coming who might not be happy with coffee morning fare, I have left a message at the scrapyard among other places, by asking them if they had been to a darts match as some of those people would feel the same as a coffee morning as would they at a darts match, they decided I had a darts team coming.

i mentioned that I would be touting for sponsors in the social club we use in the next village so they suggested I have a barbeque with the bacon AT A LATER DATE in that village with the bacon because that was where all my sponsors were. I can't shave my head on more than one occasion and that was what the bloody bacon was donated for!

My prime concern is to raise as much as I can from my one-off shearing, not to pander to batty old biddies who make it up as they go along!

leave it up

http://www.about-face.info/#!my-story/c1ev9

Gwynne,
I didn't intend to say that sufferers should do that...

what I was implying is what can a sympathising fundraiser do?

extreme activity challenges are not for everyone...

a few years ago, I pledged a penny a point in a competition............out of a maximum of 3000 points, I managed 2,600 odd pence,

every little helps, as they say......

Bob

Sharron, my friend lost every bit of her hair whilst undergoing treatment. Hers has grown back curly instead of straight and she jokes it saves a fortune on perms. Another friend's grew back a strange streaky colour so she solves it by changing it's colour frequently.( She is a hairdresser) her motto is my hair may look odd but so what I am alive. They both wish you well as do . <3 <3 <3

Bob, I wasn't "talking" to you, I have no problem with what you posted.

I was addressing a poster named Robert who seems to have deleted both of his posts without explanation. One of his posts is quoted in an earlier post of mine.

Guinevere, I merely expressed my opinion from my personal experiences.

I make no apology for what I said.

Then why delete?