General Chat

hi caz
the only things i can think of is from when i was a child.i was part of a step family and i remember lots of arguements going on with my dad and my brother (his step-dad) plus having older sisters who always caused no end of trouble for my mum(and still do believe it or not)my mum used to tell me things from as early as me being 6 years old which i dont think i should of been told really.needless to say i was the last one at home and the trouble continued with my sisters even though they werent at home anymore.( they still cause problems to this day) i always wanted to belong to a normal family and the longing never stopped.my dad was diagnosed with parkinsons disease when i was 14 and died 5years ago.although i have always tried to support my mum in anyway i can i have never had the support in return,regarding my depression and miscarriages and think alot of my anger and depression maybe about this.i know im lucky as my fiance is supportive (unlike my previous partner i lived with)but i know its draining him even though he doesnt admit it.i think i was depressed in childhood although obviously didnt know this and just got told i was moody.i then got to 22 and within 3mths got chicken pox had a stomach ulcer but still didnt know why i had this black cloud over me until my doc said you have depression.ahhh bingo im not moody or sullen im ill. thank god he didnt tell me to "just get on with it" like my mum had.xx

so Susi are y ou on the old anti-depressants too? You've had a lot to put up with from a very early age and you should never have been exposed to family arguments, nor should y our mother have treated you like an adult as she seems to have done - so good you have a supportive partner [by the way I got chickenpox at 21 - flipping awful wasn't it] Everyone on here is in the same boat so you are amongst friends - pm any of us if you want

I am in the citolapram club 30mgs have been depressed since my oh died Valxxx

well thank you for that Marion - so nice of you to say that, I do appreciate it

Feel like a fraud posting on here after reading some of the threads. Makes me feel lucky I'm ONLY on 20mg of citolapram a day. Have been for a year now but still on waiting list for counselling.

I think I'd been down for a while but it was only when I came close to walking out on job, partner, everything that I asked for help. I think I was lucky to realise that disappearing from the lives of all who cared for me wouldn't resolve the issues.

I'm also lucky in having a supportive partner unlike my sister who no longer admits to her depression after her partner told her it was all in her head.

T.O.R. xx

I have found this thread really interesting,
I, too suffer depression., since the age of 9yrs. I was diagnosed with epilepsy and took medication for it for the last 33yrs, during my teenage years I tried to end my life ,I almost succeeded on many occasions.when I think back I never had a very good childhood, my mother telling me she wished me dead lowered my esteem. when I was 24, I spent time in hospital for 5 months, I promised myself I would not return back there, I have been to my gp for anti depressants over years but I found some made me feel worse, I was very ill again in 2004, then admitted into pychiatric unit for 2 months in march 2005. I have some good days & bad days. I see my pychiatrist evey 6/8 weeks & I have a cpn who come every 2 weeks. I have`nt been to well this last few weeks like tonight I have only been up since abt 5pm.I have been told off my gp I have an underactive thyriod gland & my kidneys are not functioning properly,guess that maybe one of the problems of me being tired!
Linda.

I've been out tonight and thought I'd look on here before I go to bed. Wow!!! I never expected a response like this. Which shows if you don't talk about it you think you are on your own, open up and you're with friends. Pm's welcome I'll get back to you next time I look in on pooter! I know there is more out there!! I haven't even told all my own problem so know you can also add more. Takes courage certainly been a lot of that on here.
Love to you all Carole x

Oh Linda - you have had a real bad time haven't you. Well you've found friends on this thread for sure. I believe an underactive thyroid can make you feel slow and lethargic - others might know more about this than me - but are you on medication for it - if you are then it should eventually make things better. At least you are getting support from your CPN and your GP - some others on this thread have not been quite so fortunate. I'm on antidepressants and have been for the past fifteen or so years and I also tried to top myself with an overdose but happily failed. We've all had problems of one kind and another and all had or have mental health problems so I have no hesitation in saying that you could pm anyone on this thread and they would help - I certainly would and if ever you want someone to talk to or are feeling low, pm me and I'll give you my email and phone number - do not feel alone - that's the main thing. Do you live alone or is anyone with you?

Hello Ann,
Thank you for your invitation to pm you, I find it hard to put things into words on how I feel. I have`nt been put on any medication yet for the thyroid problem as this has to be okayed by my pychiatrist, I do have my daughter & grandson living with me temporary monday / friday, I stay on my own friday till sunday.I take my mind off how I feel via taking my grandson back & forth to school during the week as my daughter works full time.
Linda x

well it's good you have some company and a reason to go out by taking your grandson back and forth to school - I'm sure that once your psychiatrist okays the thyroid medication you will start to feel better - it's awful when you feel tired all the time - but you know that's the thyroid. I'm sure that will put you on the right road and hey look, nine weeks today we alter the clocks and the nights will start to get lighter and that lifts everyone's spirits - these dark nights tend to get everyone down, even those without depression - now just you remember, pm me any time, I'm usually around - off to bed now, speak tomorrow maybe? Sweet dreams, love Ann XX

hi all im carolina i have panic attacks and i feel sad all the time i cry allot i don't like going out as i feel like every one is looking at me i stay in my bed room all day on the computer and sleep allot its to much of an effort to clean up or do any shopping my hubby does it all i don't answer the door or phone i cannot remember the last time i laughed and really meant it or had fun i think it all started when i lost my mum the day i came out of hospital with my new born son i was told i had to go and see my mum no one told me she was dying they just told me she was ill as soon as i got there she died that was in 1993 i have seen my dr a few time but he tells me to come back in a week if i don't feel better but then when a week goes by i don't go back because i feel like im being silly i feel alone most of the time even thoe i have my hubby and children after reading this thread i am thinking about going to see the dr on monday
thank you all

carolina xx

Hi Carolina, I think we have 'spoken' before.

I do hope you will be able to see your doctor as soon as possible, and why not write down what you feel is wrong and how you feel, in case you get a bit tearful then they can read it through while you mop yourself up! If your doctor isn't sympathetic and helps you, see a different one! Get your hubby to come with you if you need support so that he can tell them how you are too.
Come back and tell us how you get on.

I have been amazed at all the stories on here, and am sure my not that bad but not brilliant childhood has a lot to do with my illness now, including the hoarding. I was fascinated to see Mary's post about the clutter and chaos etc and will look at the flylady site (hope I have remembered the right person and info lol, my memory is getting worse)

I think we will all have a bit brighter future now if we help each other through the darker times and I will be happy to talk to anyone who comes here at night feeling lost or alone.

A couple of things, to help you through.
An inch is a cinch, a yard is hard, is a saying I heard some time ago and I try to remember that when I am trying to do something that seems insurmountable. It basically means don't look at the bigger picture and get scared off by a task or problem, work at it a little bit at a time and suddenly you will realise how far you have come with all those 'inches'.

Also I often recommend the Passiflora complex which is homeopathic and helps control over emotional behaviour, weepiness and anxiety. I never see or hear of anyone else trying it tho so if anyone does give it a go, let us know how you get on. It costs about £9 for about a month's supply of drops and is easy to take and has worked for me in the past, and I use it as well as Rescue Remedy if times are really stressful.
Take care folks, well done for being brave enough to talk about things - it is the first step to a better time for you I hope and if we all help each other, things can only get better!

love
Lizxx

Hi All
can anyone tell me if being on fluoxetine for 8 years can harm you. my gp has said a few times that i seem to have been on them for a long while ,but has not sugested comming off, i take two 20mgs a day i still get down but nowhere near how i was befor the fluoxetine. i see some of you take citalapram is this the same thing as fluoxetine?
Tina

Dear sweet Carolina, How brave of you to write such an honest post, I hope you can bring yourself to see the Dr as soon as you can, and be brutally honest with him. Doesn't matter if you cry through the visit, he needs to see how deeply your mood has dipped down. Help is available, you need to be in charge of the depression, rather than allowing it to take charge of you. It may take 10 days for the medication to have good effect, but know there is relief in sight. This is NOT your fault. Sometimes the original symptoms are triggered by a specific situation, like deep grief, or overwhelming anxiety, but gone on long enough it can develop into a full-blown clinical depression.
Dear Carolina, we are here for you, feel free to ask for a shoulder, with the differing time zones, there is probably someone here 24 hours a day!! For instance, I am 5 hours behind UK time.
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
Mary

dear liz and mary thank you for your kind words i will try and see the dr on monday

carolina xx

Carolina, please let us know how you make out with the appt.
We care.
hugs
Mary

Mary, have just looked at flylady site and it looks interesting, will read it more thoroughly when I am not so tired. Thanks for telling us about it. I have ocd and hoard!
Lizx

Tina, I was first put on Fluoxetine when I started, I said earlier the tablets didn't help much. When I saw the doctor in the pain management clinic he said I had got used to them and they weren't working as well, changed me to Citalapram. It might be worth asking your doctor to change your tablets for you, after eight years your body will be used to them l don't think it will harm you though.

Caz xx

Oh Carolina - just got up and read your posting - please please do what everyone else is advising and make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow - "cut and paste" what you first wrote on this thread and take that with you and if necessary give it to him - if he doesn't do someting after reading that, register with another doctor immediately - now we on here [most of us in a similar situation] are "ORDERING" you to do this!!!!! Do it or we will bombard you with pm's until you do!!!!!
You need help honeybun and as soon as you get it you will start to feel better

much love, Ann XXX

Carolina, I was going to write when I had woken up a bit but would have said exactly the same as Ann. I think you know yourself you have to go, I sometimes don't answer the door, and can see on my phone who it is calling, if I don't want to talk I don't.
This thread will always be here for anyone at any time, use it whenever you need to, I'm not usually here during the day but Ann is and she's lovely, there are plenty of others willing to help too.

Caz xx