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Depression / Anxiety

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Irene Report 29 Jan 2008 00:22

hi dave b nice to here from the men on this subject I know it's harder for men to open up. (hubbie suffers too ) good on you! this site is great because we have all had simular feelings at one time or another we all have to walk before we run. and yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel its just some B keeps turning it on and off for us! (was that a smile see your day's alittle brighter already) hang in there your not alone


Sue Report 29 Jan 2008 00:48

OK time to admit I was in a psychiatric ward (enforced) about 30 years ago. It's not a nice place to be, all the doors were locked (except the bathrooms). I couldn't even remember my home phone number when I was allowed the pay phone.

The psychiatrist I saw wanted me to 'go back# and talk through the problems with my father which I wasn't prepared to do. I fought the system like hell and didn't get any benefit from counselling as they were fixated on my childhood and I was trying not to be.

When I was released against their advice I managed to get back to normal (whatever that is). Truly the hospital scared the life out of me and I never want to enter a psych ward again. They are no doubt more advanced nowadays but the prosepct doesn't thrill me.

I am fortunate that my doctors will see me and let me talk for an hour or more if I need to. I can rant, cry and say whatever I want and they listen and don't judge.

I miss my brothers and sister every day and as I am the only one left in my family it does get me down.
I lost another brother in 2002 and certainly didn't expect to lose everyone else so quickly. I wish I had said more to one particular brother and suffer deep regret about that. I nursed my sister in her home until she passed away (with the telephone support of my doctors) and I am glad I did. I suffered mentally for it afterwards but it gave me a tremendous focus for those weeks.

I do also have a daughter with multiple sclerosis, as many of you know, that doesn't help my mental state. Having said that she is the most positive person you could meet.

So that's my excuse for being depressed, however, I only go through black days every now and again. I will be in Tescos staring at the produce and tell my husband I can't be bothered and we leave. I am a really outgoing, confident person with a wicked sense of humour, as those who have met me will attest to, I have a job where an awful lot of people rely on my decisions and some days I don't know how I manage it.

It would be easy to give up sometimes but I don't, I am a chronic insomniac, as most of you probably are, and when the lack of sleep catches up with me I am at my worst. Hubby hides all the knives!

We are just so complex as human beings and I don't believe any professional can appreciate all our demons. That I believe is only understood by other sufferers. Thank god for this thread then.

I wish everyone the very best and hope that some comfort can be found for all of you.

Sue xx


Irene Report 29 Jan 2008 01:42

jenny its hard being a mum. In my house we have a roller coaster ride we all suffer hubbie and I have passed it down the line we are lucky that its been only mild but its taken me 7 years to get people to look at the fact my 14 yld son (our youngest) is suffering from depession and thats only because he lost his grandam(my mum Jan07) grandad (hubbies may07)great gran(hubbies june 07) his horse which we had for 11y a week before his 14th birthday and his school work was crap any wounder poor kid and Ive not been well got low Iron and they can't find out why been checked for eveything over past year all clear . It takes it toll don't forget to look after your self we tend to put the family first I was always the strong one in our family when i had my break down everyone was surprised and there is such a thing as carer stress for anyone looking after someone with a long trem illness if your doctor will not listen find ONE THAT WILL if not we will CHIN UP


Irene Report 29 Jan 2008 01:55

sue m I know what you mean about missing family my mum was ill for a long time before she passed and we live 300 km away so I would try and ring her every day because most of the time she was house bound its been 12 months and I still find myself thinking i must ring mum so I find a spot where on one can see and I talk to her granted she don't say much back and if anyone see they think were nutts anyway so what's the diff. and it make me feel better .


Irene Report 29 Jan 2008 01:57

and they never leave us because there always in our hearts

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 29 Jan 2008 02:24

Hi Irene, I love the fact you talk to your Mum still and I know how much you miss them not being at the end of the phone, it took me a long time to remember my Mum wasn't there to tell when I saw someone she had known, or something of interest to her, I would think Oh must ring Mum and tell her, then remember she wasn't at the end of the phone any more. It is coming up to 13 years now so a lot easier, and I know from a message I got from her through a spiritualist, on something that no one else could have known about, that she is still aware of all that goes on so doesn't need my calls. As you say, our loved ones are always in our hearts.

Jenny Ologist, good to see news of you, I do remember when you had all the heartache with your son and hope things are a bit easier now.

Ann, it is almost impossible to have a real conversation with my o.h. He came home today and said had I called anyone about the tv? No he hadn't asked me to and as he would be paying I wouldn't take the responsibility of doing it without his sayso! This is very much his house and his things - I am here as an afterthought, not a real partnership, more a housekeeper, secretary, garden designer, chauffeur etc etc
We discussed who to call and I phoned them and arranged that - he has to take the tv to a place not far from here when they will check it out for a tenner and tell him if it is worth fixing etc So he will do that tomorrow as I can't lift the tv and have a doctor's apptmt. otherwise he would have sent me with it.
Then we discussed whether he wanted me to cut his hair, well shave it off with his trimmer. I have been asking for a week if he wants it shorter for the eeg and he keeps putting it off so today I did it but because it was so long, the trimmer didn't work well and took twice as long, thought he was going to have to go out with it half done at one stage lol
Got that done midst moans and groans from him, and it almost made me late for an errand I had to do, so dashed off and did that and came back and tidied the edges of his hair. Then I went back out to shop for veg and such. Came back and he went to shop to get cashback to send his son again, sponging spoiled brat lazing round California!! He told me his other son had had a go at him for sending money which I can understand as he knows his father is worried about the scans and the fact he might have to take time off work or worse if he is diagnosed with epilepsy. In all these conversations, I have to watch what I say in case I misword something, when he will start shouting and screaming at me that I am arguing with him. I am not allowed to disagree as that is called arguing and I am doing it on purpose to upset him (his words). I cooked dinner and he ate that and then promptly fell asleep in the chair, complaining when I laughed out loud at something on the tv . Then he went to bed, complaining cos he didn't have the tv in the bedroom now to lull him to sleep.
It would be lovely if we could have nice conversations but honestly, it is not easy. The neighbours hear him yelling at me, and comment. He is racist and bigoted against anyone he doesn't approve of being in this country so any news items about people coming to the Uk sets him off and so do other programmes, even the news, he will find something to shout about and if I disagree because I am not racist, then he will shout at me to stop arguing!
Now can you understand why I prefer to watch tv than try to talk with him? If I tell him something about someone I know, he will need a reminder of who they are, how I know them, if he knows them, when he met them, etc etc as his memory is so bad he can't remember. Most of the time, he will just say, So? as he really isn't interested yet I have to listen enthralled to anything he says about his people at work, he is usually complaining about them being thick lol Talk about the pot calling the kettle lol

Oh and he is now saying he isn't sure he will keep the scan apptmts on Friday - I have to drive him there - as he knows he is fine and all this talk of epilepsy has been hyped up by his doctor and the symptoms he had have been blown out of all proportion!! So who knows what will happen on Friday?

Btw, I know it is necessary to check re homeopathic medicines being taken with other prescribed medicine but I was allowed to take the Passiflora when I was on antidepressants and you can always check on the compatibility info at H & B to be sure, and/or check with your doctor, who might or might not know a thing about homeopathic remedies so might err on the side of caution unnecessarily. Rescue Remedy can pretty much be taken with anything I am sure. I asked a pharmacist from our local Mental Health hospital when he came to do a talk at our ocd support group and he told me it was fine.

Good luck with appointments.



Irene Report 29 Jan 2008 06:34

hi liz isn't it amazing men will look after there car better then they will them self's I remember telling my hubbie if he didn't go to the doctors something bad was going to happen because between his mood swings and my hormones we where going to kill each other. and don't you just love (it must be that time of the month lol) I once asked him what his excuse was? didn't go down to well lol Iam shore after the tests are done his stress level will go down and things will carm down abit. I know we would love to hit them with the frying pan lol but we love em. lets face it men just don't handle things the same as we do they keep alot to them self's


Carole Report 29 Jan 2008 07:33

Sue M hope it was a relif to get that off your chest. What an awful experience. So here goes... my problem that has caused my depression to come back is years of taking imodium as I am a shitter! Mention going out and I go to the loo over and over again. Someone calls at my house and I'm of to the loo over and over again! I go visit I go to their loo again and again! Can't go out at weekends cause I eat fruit nuts in fact anything to make me go to the loo cause I didn't go all week cause I took imodium so I could get to work. After being off four months at the end of last year I am now trying to cope with out imodium and being back at work in a job where I have to travel. Today I am fairly local,,,and should be getting ready to leave the house.

Carole xx


Patricia Report 29 Jan 2008 09:08

well done with getting your appointment sorted i wish i had your courage. for me my reasons for not doing it go back to when my teens were younger i had a mother who was dominant she didnt like my hubby, barred him from her house when i visited with the children she run him down. children became upset and confused. i stopped going. suddenly weeks later SS visited said they had infothe kids were abused. we went through weeks of questioning till my health visitor intervened and filled them in about the situation with my mum . the visits stopped. main concern for ss seemed to be that i was on antidepresants. this stuck in my head to this day.
so......the one thing i feel i could never do is go back on them. my children are now older in college except the youngest. as mum and full time carer for my hubby i have to cope.i use st jons wort but have not for over a year . things have crept up without me noticing. im so glad you all wrote on here it made me realise i need it will try again today to pop uot for rescue remidy as i didnt get there but did manage swimming with my daughter last night. came home full of energy and on top form :))
hugs to you all


AnnCardiff Report 29 Jan 2008 10:47

crumbs!!!! got up late this morning and just looked in to see how things were going - what brave people on here this morning. Sue, to you, I'm no expert but sounds to me as if you have Clinical Depression, which is what I have. Always make people laugh, keep a smile on my face - sound familiar? Get to your GP and get some help girl - you will be amazed at how good you will feel after a short time I'm on Venlafaxine [Effexor] and it sure works for me - without it I'd be in the pits I can tell you.

Ann XX


AnnCardiff Report 29 Jan 2008 11:05

good on you Gail - I will have to stay on my medication for life - have tried to come off it with GPs help, but failed miserably - he has told me not to worry, if you're on them for the rest of your life so be it. So that's you and me, pill poppers!!

Ann XX


AnnCardiff Report 29 Jan 2008 11:08

I don't know if anyone of you looked in on Chat and saw the Gary Glitter thread [been pulled I think] However people, including me, started telling of child abuse they had suffered and it was thought that maybe a child abuse thread may be put up. I've had a think about this and think it shouldn't for the simple reason that by the law of averages there is bound to be at least one child abuser on these threads, if not more, and a thread like that would probably make enjoyable reading for them. Don't know if others agree with me?

Ann X


AnnCardiff Report 29 Jan 2008 11:42

Lovely pm Gail, thank you

Ann XX


Patricia Report 29 Jan 2008 11:46

hello Ann
i saw read and added to the since deleted gary glitter threads.
unfortunatly abusers often revel in the pain they cause. so i agree although a threat would help many is not such a good idea. shame tho as im sure like this thread there would be much love respect help and support.


AnnCardiff Report 29 Jan 2008 11:57

too right Julie - as sufferers are proving on here every day it seems, only good can come from it - sufferers should talk about it openly, even if, as in some cases, people are embarrassed by it - don't let that stop you. If it was a broken leg or arm people would be so ready to ask how it happened etc. well the same should apply to mental illness!!


AnnCardiff Report 29 Jan 2008 12:24

you hit the nail right on the head there!!! Education, plus understanding and compassion - that's what needed


Carolina Report 29 Jan 2008 13:15

hi all i didn't make an appointment to see the dr yesterday i couldn't face going but i have made on for today the other day on a mad impulse i joined race for life so if any one wants to sponsor me my web page is
thank you all for your support

carolina xx


Irene Report 29 Jan 2008 13:28

granofoz that makes me soooo mad I own a bakery in mansfield oz which is on the way to one of our snow field so my customer's are anything from jag drivers to the old farm utes the farm boys come in covered in oil or cow poo but never if I've got a shop full they wait untill the coast is clear other shop's in town wont serve them and you know they are my best customers if they have muddy boots they leave them at the door. I once had a deaf couple come in they were looking around the shop.(Didn't know they were deaf at that time) so i went to see if they would like some help as you do there daughter jumped in and said mum and dad cant hear I just smiled at her turned back to her parents made shore they could see my face and got the fingers pointing they left very happy . everyone of us are diffrent and we all deserve respect its not the wrapping its the person on the inside that counts. best wishes to all

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 29 Jan 2008 13:57

Irene, that sounds caring of you with your customers. There is far too much discrimination in this world, did anyone watch the programme the other night about the Dalits, previously known as Untouchables, in India? I was so sad for those poor people who through the fact that they were born to Dalits had to continue the lowly and scorned lifestyle.

I know o.h. won't be any better unless he has medication if diagnosed, he is always this way, one of the symptons of temporal lobe epilepsy is sudden and unexpected outbursts of aggression and agitation, which fitted him to a t, but when I mentioned that to the specialist, he poohpoohed the idea, saying that was a fallacy. Shame as I had been hoping o.h. had a medical reason for being so obnoxious,altho I do still think there is a link and someone else who has a relative with the t-l epilepsy, has the aggression problems badly even with medication. I am afraid o.h. killed any feelings I had a long time ago but for many reasons I am not in a position to leave at the moment. I think when I can leave I will feel less depressed and stressed.

Gran with Ruby Slippers, until recently I wouldn't tell anyone about my ocd, here there is still a big stigma to ocd sufferers. Sounds as if you have much more to cope with than me, well done for going out when you can and shame on such rude people that accost you.


Off to docs in a little while.


AnnCardiff Report 29 Jan 2008 14:58

Carolina - lets know how you got on with your GP - that's if you wnt to tell us, and will certainly look at your website and sponsor you honeybuns

Ann XX