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Auntie Motie a Genteel Tale of Everyday Life.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


MotownGal Report 15 Sep 2012 11:31

Hello Susan dear, what is this mexie thing? Is it a new exotic dish that Cherry is getting Mrs Berry to prepare for our homecoming? Or is it something you saw on CDWM, I really like the weird and wonderful things that some people concoct.

Panic over dears, it was not dead body after all.

I think some fool has been watching Colditz on the cinema! The film where all the soldiers manage to escape without the guards having a clue!

I young man made his escape from his overbearing Mama who was taking him to her family in Francais. He was smitten by a young gel in his village who was 'below him' in class and stature, and he has done a bunk to be with her.

Mama is purple was rage, and quite frankly I am surprised that such a smug, overbearing, self satisfied, sanctimonious, opinionated woman has the cheek to walk the streets.......................fancy being as obnoxious as that!

I was saying the same to Octavia, and do you know, she must have drunk her coffee too quickly, as she nearly choked! Of course I came to her resue and delivered the Heinekan movement. Preens!

We are now homeward bound as those dear little Simon and Carbuncle used to sing. I shall be home before you know it.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia


CherryCrumbles Report 15 Sep 2012 12:56

I see in todays Hot News that a member of the paparazzi has gone missing and may soon be found strung up from the battlements of Balmoral, with HMER proclaiming "orf with his head".

What a relief that there was no dead body on the train. It might have been very different had Miss Marple's friend been in one of the carriages of the 4.15 From Paddington. Ah yes, the Heinekin Movement. Closely related to Beethovens First Movement. I believe it was initiated by a gentleman called Heimlich Manouver.

If there was no dead body on the train, that means there were no people to interrogate, so how did the little Belgian genetleman occupy himself for the duration of the journey. Perhaps he thought of going to Hastings ........ !

I hope Octavia's back is soon recovered, following dear Petunia's handling of the choking situation. A chipped vertebrae is no laughing matter. I do hope dear Petunia has an Indemnity Clause written into her Homes Insurance.



CherryCrumbles Report 15 Sep 2012 13:01

hello Susan, I think Cesca clashed with one of the other young ladies on that show, and apparently when the camera was not rolling she expressed a few personal opinions about people being rude to her. TBH, I was disgusted at the attitude shown to Cesca, and I didnt like the way some of the people poked around in other peoples' homes and made disparaging remarks. I'd never seen that show before, only followed it for the week Cesca was appearing, and do not intend to watch it ever again.

As for your dream, its said that elephants never forget, so do you have a guilty subconscious secret you dont want to remember??? ;-)



CherryCrumbles Report 15 Sep 2012 13:14

thought for the day :

If Penelope Cruz married Tom Cruise,
would she thereafter be known as Penelope Cruz Cruise??

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> hides


Cooper Report 15 Sep 2012 17:39

OMG, is that Patrishaaaaa I see. I think my Neice Fruit has caught her in the mist of the spray tan and also slapped on the slap so to speak!!!.......................................
....................................................................Oh dear my Neice fruit said Patty as she now likes to be known, asked for a makeover, she also wanted a small dog she could pop in her hand bag and a pair of killer heals.

It pains me to say this Auntie but Patty is now dressed as a Towie, the goth look has gawn. :(

Yours wondering where on earth


Cooper Report 15 Sep 2012 17:41

Oh dear the hair straighteners seem to be missing again and FTEs orff the shoulder dress


CherryCrumbles Report 15 Sep 2012 17:42

Oh dear me, Teresa, I hope that Patty will not be asking her grandmother to buy one of them thar miniature pigs that can live on balconies. While I am staying at Motie Towers, I do not wish to be woken at the crack of dawn every morning by the oink-oinking of little squealers. Mind you ... I hear they make excellent and very loyal pets, but what would we do with Tricki-Woo?



Cooper Report 15 Sep 2012 17:44

I think young Penelope Cruise was out walking with Mr T Cruise at one stage Cherry.

~~~~~~~~~~~ to Susan and Lesley wherever she may be. Hope the concert went well Lesley, Im desperate to know how it went, I caught a bit when the highlights were played on the radio.

Teresa :0)


Cooper Report 15 Sep 2012 17:47

Hi there Cherry, hope all is well at the Towers, Its a miniature 'orse she is after and a rich miniture jockey to keep her the the custom she is getting used to! We are not too many miles from Newmarket, she is thinking of a visit there.

Teresa :0)


Cooper Report 15 Sep 2012 17:48

Im orff to get the washing in. We are going soon to the local Inn for tea. I really could not be faffed with cooking after toil today.

See you soon



MotownGal Report 15 Sep 2012 17:58

Ladies, ladies, afternoon tea has been served and cleared away. We are now at the Afternoon Tea Dance.

I must say I do fancy myself as Ginger Rogers. She was such a pretty little thing, although a bit different when she was in the West End in her later years. She was morphing into Mae West!!!!!

The male officers are our partners this afternoon. Such nice young boys, all brilliantine and white tea. I asked my dear boy if he has a nice young gel to keep him company. He confessed to being on the other bus. Bus? Are we not on board Ship? Am I missing something here dears? Does he have aspirations of being a bus driver? I thought all young boys wanted to be engine drivers!

We are having a Strictly Come Dancing afternoon here. There is a regular little firebrand here, he is teaching us all the Argentinian Tango.

Oh be still my beating heart!!!!

Auntie Petunia


CherryCrumbles Report 15 Sep 2012 18:21

*settles into chair, feeling exhausted and disgruntled*
Am utterly pooped and my feet are two slabs of burning agony, due to doing the work I pay gardeners to do ..... MFH decided to cut the cotoneaster today, as the work was well overdue. I made a start while he was collecting his car from its MOT. That done, I turned my attention to some other bits of trimming while MFH washed the cars and watered the frontyard beds, and I discovered that the last pair of gardeners I'd hired had not picked up everything they were clipping where they were working around the holly and the lilac, they had let much of it fall down into the shrubbery although I'd told them at the outset not to leave anything for me to pick up because I wasnt able to do it. I now reckon they only started doing a "proper job" after I wandered into the backyard to hold the sacks for them, because while I was out there they were working very well.

So, today I had to stand there and pick up all these clippings. Not so pleased with them now, although they gave the holly a lovely trim and shape. Oh well, that job is sorted now, even if my feet hurt more than my hips do.

Who wants to massage my feet ?????????


CherryCrumbles Report 15 Sep 2012 18:28

As I explained to dear Petunia, the young male officer who squired her at the dancing wasnt talking about public transport, he meant that he bats for the other side. She immediately demanded an explanation into the rules of cricket. This is a game I have never played but I did my best to satisfy her curiosity.

I told Petunia that there are two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When both sides have been in and out including the not outs - that's the end of the game.

Unfortunately dear Petunia couldnt make head nor tail of that, so I tried another tack, telling her that two old men in white coats walk together to the middle of a large green field, each carrying three long sticks and two little ones. Each man plants his three sticks in the ground, 22 inches apart, and puts the little sticks on top. They then turn around and look at 22 younger men waiting at the edge of the field - and it starts to rain. HOWZAT !!



CherryCrumbles Report 15 Sep 2012 18:31

Oh Teresa dont let Patty anywhere near Newmarket, and those jockeys, or she will be demanding silk pyjamas next. What will Petunia say? But I do know where there is a miniature horse, and foal.

Can you keep a secret?

So can I. :-D :-D



CherryCrumbles Report 15 Sep 2012 19:23

A thought for the weekend :

There are known knowns; there are things we know we know.
We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know. ”
(Former United States Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld).


MotownGal Report 15 Sep 2012 19:43

The dancing was very good ladies, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Dont worry Cherry dear, I know all the ins and outs of cricket. I used to keep score for the Highgate XI. I was very good at sitting in the score hut, taking all their particulars down.

I am a little perturbed about the news of Pat-trish-aaaaah Teresa dear. From what I have seen of TOWIE, I am not impressed. Please dont say Patsy [I choked over that!] will come home, erm, upholstered?

I may even echo dear Judy here, dears, There Is No Place Like Home!!!!!

Humming Over The Rainbow
Auntie Petunia


Diamonds-R-A-Girls-Best-Friend Report 15 Sep 2012 20:18

Hello Ladies

Here I am :-) calmly walking in mopping my brow with my lace edged handkerchief........ my feet have hardly touched the ground since last Saturday.

After a spectacular concert and weekend in London :-D I arrived home Monday exhausted to be greeted my dear cousin :-) that lives near Avignon and whom I hadn't seen for six years, exhaustion forgotten :-) the next four days were taken over with lots of chatting, shopping, sightseeing and laughter :-D

The exhaustion has now returned hitting me like a ton of bricks :-(

Dear Auntie Petunia I think I need a relaxing cruise so as to recover :-) could you recommend one please :-S

In the words of Arnie I will be back ;-)


Susan-nz Report 15 Sep 2012 23:05

CC, the one thing I detest about the show, is the poking about the host's cupboards.. One segment I watched, a very loud and bumptious woman, messed up the very tidy inside of a very particular mans wardrobe... CDWM doesn't mean come snoop around the insides of me drawers :-D. One show I watched recently, a nosy woman literally 'broke' another womans set of drawers...
That said, I still enjoy the 'fireworks'.

If my subconscience remembers any guilty secrets, I may or may not let you know :-D... ** wondering to myself what the 'eck I may have been up too. **

Mexie Petunia, I took to mean a little mixymitosis ?? Perhaps not?
Akin to eating beef with cjd :-S...

Oh Teresa, please send us a photo of Patty... I could do with a laugh. I had a vision - and nearly passed out :-S. hehe

Hello Lesley, hope you are feeling a little refreshed - or a lot refreshed after your busy week. If you go cruising,keep an eye out for Teresa's FTE :-). I was talking to a friend through the week, he and his wife have done several cruises and loved them. I cannot get my OH at all interested, he prefers to holiday without the masses. Though I would think even on a huge boat, one could find some quiet space?

Having said that, OH and I have cruised on a small boat around a Pacific Island, one evening we had to dress up, one crew member swapped his uniform for another passengers skirt and top, boy o boy, the crew member was one happy little bunny indeed ;-). Definitley on the other 'bus'. A good time was had by all.

It is pouring down today :-(, though I did manage to mow the lawn yesterday before the heavens opened. I am over the Spring weather, give me Summer !!

OH is adamant he is going to don his wet weather gear and do a bit of trimming of a particular climbing plant that is coming from over the neighbours fence. The neighbours are away presently ;-).

Toodle pip



MotownGal Report 16 Sep 2012 10:24

Good morning All dear Ladies.

We are nearing home as I speak, we are just in the English Channel. But of course we will have a Farewell Party before we disembark.

Dear Lesley, you have had a spiffing time by all accounts. Of course you are a lot younger than I, so you possibly can gallivant about. But how lovely to have people to stay. You are a true member of us all now. You have passed the initiation test.

Susan dear, CDWM is a weird and wonderful programme. It is like a car crash you just HAVE to watch. I too saw an episode where some dear lady had everything tickety boo in her wardrobe and someone thought it very funny to transpose everything! A little over the top I thought.

Hello Cherry and Teresa dear, I hope that Pat-trish-aaaah will be back home by the time I arrive. I shall have words with her myself. And she will have a flea in her ear.................

Oooooh lovely, we will be fed and watered by the time dear Downtown Abbey begins. How I do love Dame Maggie, I think we have sooooo much in common.

Toodle Pip
Auntie Petunia


CherryCrumbles Report 16 Sep 2012 11:03

I dont know why but I sometimes feel I am wandering down a yellow brick road. I swear it is not the mushrooms. Or the toadstools.

Good to see you again Lesley, and I am glad your weekend, and your reunion, went so swimmingly. When do you reckon you will be back in the old routine, and how is your granddaughter?

Whatever you do, dont go cruising on the Good Ship Canitti. I hear the crew are mopping their brows and wondering how to restore their hair, following the exploits of four of the lady passengers. They got up to everything except lock themselves in the lavatory.

Which reminds me. Petunia bloooberried to say they would be docking today so I had better get my skates on and run down to Southampton to meet and greet. Why wearing fish on my feet is supposed to speed me up, I havent yet worked out.