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Bad childhood jokes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Tawny Report 22 Feb 2019 21:00

There was an English man and a Scots man. The English man could wear whatever colour he wanted however the Scots man could only be red. Why?

The Scotsman is a newspaper.


Allan Report 22 Feb 2019 21:18

An Englishman,Scotsman, Irishman, Welshman, Frenchman, Canadian, American man, a Polish man, an African man, a Hungarian, a Czech, a Russian and a Chinese man went to a nightclub.

'Sorry,' said the doorman, 'You can't come in without a Thai'


Caroline Report 22 Feb 2019 21:51

:-D :-D....all acceptably childish keep them coming


Allan Report 23 Feb 2019 20:55

A group of people were visiting a leading toothpaste manufacturer.

They were accidentally locked in the company’s deep freeze.

The newspaper headlines the following day were . “Tooth company freeze a crowd”.


maggiewinchester Report 23 Feb 2019 22:36

:-D :-D :-D


Dermot Report 24 Feb 2019 08:42

A man walks into a bar & went "Aaaagh"! It was an iron bar.

An Essex girl is involved in a bad traffic accident. A paramedic rushes to her aid. "Whereabouts are you bleeding from?" he enquires. "Well" says the girl, "since you asked, bleeding Romford".


Bobtanian Report 24 Feb 2019 12:10

that response was the paramedics fault he SHOULD have asked"from where, are you bleeding?"


Caroline Report 24 Feb 2019 12:30

Not as funny though huh?? :-D


Bobtanian Report 24 Feb 2019 12:35

maybe not! LOL


Dermot Report 24 Feb 2019 12:50

Man to Dentist: "Can you recommend anything for yellow teeth?"

Dentist: "A brown tie!"


Allan Report 24 Feb 2019 21:08

I got mugged by six dwarfs last night . Not happy. ,!!!

Seven dwarfs in a bath, they all felt happy. Happy got out so they all felt grumpy


Dermot Report 25 Feb 2019 13:45

"How dare you break wind before my wife" says the agitated host to his dinner guest. "I'm sorry" replies the red-faced guest. "I didn't realise it was her turn".


Allan Report 26 Feb 2019 20:57

I have a pencil once owned by Shakespeare.

He must have chewed the end a lot as I can’t tell if it’s 2b or not 2b


Bobtanian Report 26 Feb 2019 22:31

" I wandered, lonely as a cloud, amongs't a sea of Daffodils"

then found my Wi fi was down!


Caroline Report 27 Feb 2019 00:56

:-D :-D


Dermot Report 27 Feb 2019 06:50

A fire engine speeds down the road with bells ringing. Behind it a drunk tries to chase it on foot.

The engine turns the corner & zooms out of sight.

The exhausted drunk collapses on the ground & shouts: "All right then! Keep your bloody ice-cream!".


Allan Report 1 Mar 2019 00:47

Don't let anyone call you average; that's just mean


Allan Report 1 Mar 2019 00:52

If you're attacked by clowns, go for the juggler


Caroline Report 1 Mar 2019 01:13

:-D :-D


Allan Report 1 Mar 2019 06:48

What do you call a dinosaur from Haworth in Yorkshire?

A Brontesauras