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Bad childhood jokes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Allan

Allan Report 4 Mar 2019 00:27

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.

Caroline

Caroline Report 4 Mar 2019 00:29

Barbra.....didn't say that, most kids are worse than adults :-)

Allan

Allan Report 4 Mar 2019 00:44

I reckon the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades

Caroline

Caroline Report 4 Mar 2019 01:03

:-D

Dermot

Dermot Report 4 Mar 2019 07:20

Santa Claus has the sensible idea of visiting people only once a year.

Allan

Allan Report 4 Mar 2019 20:37

I was in court today for stealing a bag, I was acquitted in three minutes.


It was a brief case

Allan

Allan Report 4 Mar 2019 20:56

Jokes about sugar are rare, but jokes about brown sugar demerera




Tawny

Tawny Report 4 Mar 2019 21:30

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A doyouthinkhesawus rex

Tawny

Tawny Report 4 Mar 2019 21:36

What did the grape say when it was stepped on.

Nothing it just gave a little w(h)ine

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 5 Mar 2019 00:48

If heights frighten you, then Base jumping is not a good idea!

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 5 Mar 2019 00:52

The Seminar for Psychic Enthusiasts has been cancelled,



due to unforeseen circumstances......

no one remembered to book the room.....




Dermot

Dermot Report 5 Mar 2019 07:04

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'Shutttup'.

Allan

Allan Report 5 Mar 2019 21:25

My wife is leaving me due to what she’s says is my obsession with graffiti.

To be fair, the writing has been on the wall for sometime

Dermot

Dermot Report 6 Mar 2019 08:58

Insanity is hereditary. You can easily get it from your children.

Allan

Allan Report 6 Mar 2019 20:58

I once had to work as a waiter at a local restaurant

The wages weren't great but at least I was able to put food on the table

Tawny

Tawny Report 6 Mar 2019 21:56

What do you call a man under a car?

Jack


What do you call a woman playing snooker whilst balancing a pint on her head?

Beertrix Potter

Allan

Allan Report 6 Mar 2019 21:59

Research has shown that cows produce more milk when the farmers talk to them.

It's a case of straight in one ear and out of the udder

Allan

Allan Report 7 Mar 2019 00:53

To the person who stole my antidepressants, I hope you're happy now

Dermot

Dermot Report 7 Mar 2019 09:39

Men often name their children after themselves. Women don't.

Have you ever met a Sally junior?

Dermot

Dermot Report 7 Mar 2019 17:48

Teacher to young pupil: "How old is your father?"

Pupil: "He is 6 years old".

Teacher: "What? That's impossible".

Pupil: "He only became a father when I was born 6 years ago".