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Bad childhood jokes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:32

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Luca

Luca who?

Luca through the keyhole and you’ll see

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:41

Bulldog for sale. Eats anything, loves children.

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:42

Boy wanted to trace gas leaks with lighted match. Must be willing to travel.

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:44

What do you get when you cross a sheep dog with a rose?

Collie flower

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:46

What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?

Cockadoodaldoo

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:47

Where do Whales get weighed?

A whale weigh station

Caroline

Caroline Report 23 Mar 2019 18:08

Pace yourself there Tawny :-D :-D

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 18:20

Apologies :-D Just in from the pub :-D :-D

Caroline

Caroline Report 23 Mar 2019 20:22

Oh no not worried at the number of jokes glad everyone is contributing drunk or otherwise :-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 23 Mar 2019 20:50

A man walked into a zoo and asked the keeper if he could have to ape knees for a penny

(I must invest in Lotto; that's twice in one day ;-) :-D :-D)

Allan

Allan Report 23 Mar 2019 21:20

Perhaps not in the best of taste, but I did find this one funny. That says a lot about my sense of humour and also my mentality :-D :-D

I recently met a very attractive homeless woman and asked if I could take her home.

You should have seen her face light up as she said yes.

You should have seen how her expression changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 24 Mar 2019 01:46

Was accosted by a foreign gentleman that was a pound short of his airfare home......
gave him a tenner and suggested he take 9 others with him!....

Dermot

Dermot Report 24 Mar 2019 06:47

"Mummy, mummy! What's a werewolf?"

"Be quiet & go comb your face".

Allan

Allan Report 24 Mar 2019 09:47

Mummy, mummy, can I lick the bowl out?

No! You can flush, it just like everyone else.

Dermot

Dermot Report 31 Mar 2019 16:40

"I was raised by just my mum. See, my dad died when I was eight years old.

At least, that's what he told us in the letter".

Allan

Allan Report 31 Mar 2019 23:05

My new next door neighbour is a Russian Uber taxi driver, Pikup Andropov

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 1 Apr 2019 11:57

A lorry containing "Vick" has overturned on the M25 spilling its load all over...

police estimate that the road will be congestion free for several hours yet!!

Dermot

Dermot Report 8 Apr 2019 14:14

So near - yet sofa.

David

David Report 10 Apr 2019 13:26


Adultery is a sin, You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

Dermot

Dermot Report 10 Apr 2019 16:34

Q - "Why is the new baby just like Daddy?"

A - "It is bald, sleepy & uneducated".